2001-12-15 - 4:45 a.m.

let me explain to you what work is to me.

i first took the job because my last job laid me off fired me whatever. after telling me that i should take a vacation because i had been there for a year and deserved it. when i got back i emailed them telling them that i was early and ready to get back to work. they responded saying that there was not much work right now and would call me when more came in.

that was two years ago.

i already knew i was gone when i recieved the email.

i pretended to have a job for three weeks. i would leave everyday at eightthirty and either go to the park and read for eight hours or hang out at the library. if my parents found out i did not have a job i did not know what they would do. i had bills to pay, i needed money for food.

desperate for money and tired of people not calling me back i swallowed my pride and went to the mall after i recieved some advise from a friend.

thats how i got the job. after being there for a year making alot less than i was they decided to give me a promotion. retail is really easy. i took it not for the money really but because of the fact that i thought i deserved it. i figured the extra hours would only be temporary untill i saved up enough money to go full time into school.

that was about eight months ago.

my dilemma at work is that there is not a single intellegent person equal or above me in the company that i have met. people alot more stupid than i are making alot more money then me.

thats discouraging.

so i hear that i could be moving out. i had been looking for a place for awhile but knew i could not afford it. so i found someone looking for a roomate. that would make it cheap enough for me to move out and i could find a job with less hours and do the school thing.

see my problem with school is that i cannot afford it without working alot. i cannot do well in school while working alot.

but even that seems to have fallen away. i cant move out with no roomate and no one i know wants to leave.

back to square one james. good luck.

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