2001-12-05 - 12:54 a.m.

my old friend circle keeps comming in lately to say "whats up"

it is actually kind of annoying because i have nothing to say to those people. if i did i would call them i still have most of their numbers.

some of my friends always say that i'm being mean or something for not wanting to see them or pretending i dont reconize them if i see them somewhere.

those people didnt know me in high school.

or atleast them anyway. i wasnt like them i just hung out with them. i liked them alot they were my friends but they were not exactly the world's best people. they come in asking if i want to buy stuff off them usually i reply with a "do you take checks?" but that joke is getting old, also to ask me to steal stuff for them. awesome people i know. i got out of their circle my senior year of high school. i cut my hair and started dressing the way i do now. my other friends would ask me why i even hung out with them. i just figured they either didnt understand or just didnt know them. they werent that bad. they werent gutter people or anything we were just suburban kids.

i have changed alot since high school, i used to think no one really changes now i just think people do nothing but change. hell just a few months ago i used to be a nice guy. i used to be able to honestly say i did not mind. maybe i should try to be that way again. nah. maybe it is just work. outside of work i tend to be quite the nice guy but at work i am just plain mean sometimes, well i think so anyway, meaner than usual.

i did realize though that people stopped thinking i was fun to work with after i got my promotion. but that is because i became responsible for their (our) slacking.

ugh i wish the past would just leave me alone. you ignore it and it is going great. you dont think about it. then it shows up i find that if you devalue everything it makes things easier. that's not wrong is it?

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