2001-11-03 - 9:08 p.m.

i used to be a depressed teenager.

when i was seventeen i woke up one morning and decided i was never going to feel that way again. total apathy became my religion. why let emotion stop you from doing anything.

since then i have yet to be depressed.

i had an advantage to all the other depressed youths of my day. i was terrified of death. that kept me well for all those years.

people saying life sucks is as common place in my mind as saying the sky is blue. its one of life's little things that you just dont think too much about.

people tell me it would be great to just cease to be. i think this is a horrible thought. i am one of the modern people who are always in fear of what they are missing if i were to cease to be imagine what i would miss. there are so many things i have not done. i am not going to leave a checklist incomplete.

there are alot of things worth living for. coffee with an friend, a song you like on the radio. driving with the windows down. warmth. i love the sun and heat when i go outside i feel as though the sun is healing me and melting away all the horrible things that occured that day.

why end it all over something as trivial as depression?

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