2001-11-03 - 9:11 p.m.

i've been feeling particularly alone today. not a fun feeling to have.

i am in one of those modes where i just have to get up, get out, do something.

julie is at home with family buisness to attend too. i made a few calls and made plans but they do not start until ten p.m. this waiting is horrible.

i attempted to use my online banking buisness to see just how broke i am. it did not work and i am clueless. i get paid just in time to give it to school and avoiding getting dropped. i forgot how horrible it was to live on a budget.

my days off from work are feeling less like actual days off. every week i check the schedule to see how bad that week will be and i cant wait to see the whole time i wait i am thinking of all the things i can get done this week but then i look at it and realize the only thing i will be doing is working and it just makes me angry for having to face reality once more.

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