2001-10-09 - 2:13 a.m.

nothing new today

it was funny julie called me today for as i thought like the first time, i wanted to tell her that it was odd her calling because i was just thinking about her but that wouldnt being saying much because i dont think i've stopped thinking about her for three weeks now, she even lead to me missing a vial note taking lecture in my history class today.

its been a loooong time since i've had a girlfriend well i've never quite had this kind of relationship before. i usua;;y dont get attached to anyone too much i dont let myself but its impossible for me to keep her out. i've tried to tell her how i feel about her and that i think she's the girl that i could really fall in love with but i just cant, whenever i try it usually ends up going to small talk and me trying to be funny because thats the only way i know out.

it's pretty scary though i never thought i would be this dependant on someone else.

that all for today i dont think i can handle any more of this.

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