2002-05-29 - 3:11 a.m.

so, there are a few things i don't really like.

two of which are straws and sticky things.

now the reason i don�t like sticky things goes back to the first grade.

for christmas my grandmother got me a brand new blue hush puppies sweater. if you don�t remember hush puppies maybe i'm too young/old or your stupid. either way though they were pretty much just dogs with the sad "puppy dog" eyes. the actually puppy was in the center of it and if you pushed it, it made a squeak noise.

now, i don't ever recall actually wanting this sweater but i got it nonetheless.

anyway, at my school once a month or so they had this genius idea or serving "breakfast for lunch" you know, pancakes and the like. well we were in the first grade and therefore not allowed to actually use a knife or anything so most kids would just pick up the entire syrup drenched pancake and cram it in their mouth. i of course was no exception.

since my grandmother was a kid savvy woman she figured that buying a larger size would enable me to wear the sweater for many years to come.

so back to the school cafeteria, breakfast for lunch, no knives, syrup drenched pancakes. while geniusly trying to cram a pancake that was twelve times the size of my head into my face i dropped it and it went straight down my sweater coating my entire chest in syrup which then dried into a sticky mess.

me being the wussy shy kid made no attempt to point this out to anyone.

so i spent the entire day trying to keep the sweater away from my skin while kids tried all day to push the fucking hush puppy to hear it squeak.

ever since then i can't stand the stuff

as for straws this one is pretty short.

have you ever seen the movie pulp fiction? ok, remember the part where samuel e. whatever guy wants some "tasty beverage" to wash the "big kahuna" burger down? do you remember how ridiculous he looked sipping from the straw?

you all look like that.

that's it.

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